Mr Miss America Beauty Pagent
by NeVeRsLeEpSaTnIgHt
Summary: It's where the Agents Malik, Max, Angel, Yugi, and Ryou go undercover for a bomb threat in a beauty pagent. Plz read it! Not exactly funny till later chapters. It all depends on what you think is funny. Rated for future language and maybe future scenes.
1. The Mission

_**Mr. Miss America Beauty Pagent**_

A/N: Yes, it's an original plot and I've been meaning to put this up for quite a while now, just never got around to writing it. But school's out (been out since May 19th) and I have lotsa time on my hands.

Just bear/bare (whateva) with me right now. Max and Malik and Ryou and Angel are all living in the same apartment. They're all just friends though!

_**Chapter One: Your Mission**_

"We suspect that there's a bomb threat on the pagent and we need undercover agents to do it. I've chosen you. Now, Yugi, Malik, and Ryou need to lose about fifty-two pounds in a week. You have to look out for threats and evidence and such, so your off for the rest of the week, see you Monday." Cheif Uptane said, turning off the computer.

"I'm not wearing a dress!" Malik said. "No, no no no no no. NO. I do not accept the mission. No."

"What?" Yugi yelled? "I don't wanna be a girl!"

"Do you want to keep your job?"

"Well, Yeah."

"Then you accept the mission. Bye everybody."

"Come on." Max said, yanking Malik out of the chair. "Let's go."

"Yeah," Angel, Max's Best Friend, agreed, pulling Ryou out of his chair. "Come on."

At The Apartment

"What the hell are you watching?" Malik asked Max, walking in to his friend's bedroom.

"It's called A Walk To Remember."

"Ugh, what happened to the Max I knew before we all started living together?"

"She came to live with you and you saw her in a whole different way."

"Yeah, you are so weird."

"But that's why you love me, just not in that way." Max said smiling innocently.

"Yeah, you go on thinking that, Max."

"Ok." Max said as she turned to look back at the TV screen.

Malik walked into the living room and sat down on the couch and let his head fall into his hands. He sighed. "How the hell am I going to pull off being a girl?" he mumbled.

"Talking to yourself now eh?" Angel laughed, walking out of the kitchen.

"Oh, shut up." Malik snapped.

"Sooooorry." Angel rolled her eyes.

"Good luck loosing fifty-two pounds of muscle by Monday."

Malik mumbled something incoherent in Arabic and walked off.

A/N: I know, short, but go on to the next chapter. It'll get funnier soon I promise. Just please review.


	2. The Disguise

_**Mr. Miss America Beauty Pagent**_

A/N: This chapter will be better, I hope. Thanks for reading. It's not Yaoi. So don't think that. I don't write em' just read em'. And then I usually don't read em' nothin against Yaoi lovers.

_**Chapter Two: The Disguise**_

&Monday Morning&

Max climbed into the passenger side of the red Mustange convertable as Malik jumped over the side and in to the Drivers side. He backed out and Max looked at him. He'd definitely thinned out. Max raised her eyebrows and looked at him.

"What?" Malik asked, not taking his eyes from the road. "Something wrong?"

"No, nothing, you just look different." Max replied. "Hey, I wonder what state he's gonna put you in."

Malik went silent.

He parked the car and they both jumped over their doors and in to the building. "Finally, you're here." the capain said. "Malik go stand over there." he said pointing to the wall. There was a scale and a the disguise official, (And one of Max's closest relatives-her sister)Mona were standing there. Ryou was a whole new shade of crimson, standing in a corner with Angel trying to comfort him, and failing. Max almost laughed but caught herself.

Malik glared at Mona and she smiled with false sweetness. "Take your shirt off." she said.

"You're joking right?" Malik asked.

"I wish I was, now shirt off."

Malik rolled his eyes and pulled his shirt off, dropping it on to the chair next to the scale. Mona made a gagging noise and measured around his waist, his shoulders, and the length of his body from shoulders to hips. She wrote down all the measurements and told Malik to put his shirt back on, wich he did gladly.

"Scale. Now." Mona said, pointing to the scale. Malik stepped on. "Hmm, One hundred nine... reduce the weight of clothing...Alright.."

Malik stepped off of the scale. I hate you soooo bad right now." he muttered, narrowing his eyes at everyone. Max laughed.

Five Hours Later

"Ok." Mona said. "I'm done."

Max looked up from the In Touch magazine she was reading. "Let's see them then." she grinned.

"We're not coming out!" Yugi yelled.

"Yeah." Ryou agreed.

"I'll just stay hear and rot, thanks." Malik called.

"C'mon, you guys can't look too bad." Angel giggled. Mona walked behind the curtain concealing the embarrassed guys and pushed them out. Max's jaw dropped.

Malik made a really good girl. His hair had (somehow) been smoothed down so it didn't spike at all and he was wearing pink lip gloss and a ton of make up and he was wearing a lot of theatrical body suit stuff and so were Ryou and Yugi. Yugi's hair, the had somehow managed to push down the spikes. Now Yugi's hair was about waist length and not pointy. It had red streaks in it and blonde bangs and whatever other color the rest of his hair is was most of it. And Ryou, well his hair could belong to a girl anyways, all Mona did was put a bunch of hair gel in it. Now it was sleek looking and smooth.

"Oh, my God." Angel laughed.

"I told you she'd laugh." Yugi muttered. "I knew it would happen."

"You guys looke great!" Max said. Malik was wearing a light blue dress that covered up a lot. And high heels. Yugi and Ryou were in the same thing except Yugi was in purple and Ryou was wearing pink. (A/N: Plz don't kill me I'm not trying to make them look gay I swear it!)

"Alright, your plane leaves in an hour shoo." Mona said. "Go, buh-bye."

Everyone looked at each other as they walked out of the building and headed for their cars. And finally went to the airport.

A/N: Ok. I hope you liked it. It'll get funnier during the actual pagent. Right now it's just...I dunno. Anyways plz review! And please no flames! I swear toRa I'm not trying to make them look gay!


	3. Undercover Names

_**Mr. Miss America Beauty Pagent**_

A/N: Hi. I got three reviews last time so... I decided I'd update. Thank you, all. I love you guys just not int that way! Here goes nothing...literally. And just to warn you there's a suprise character in here, of my own creation...but you mey recognize one of his relatives. lol. Oh, and this technically doesn't make it an Austin Powers Crossover, cause Austin Powes isn't in it and doesn't save the day, yada yada yada all that crap, it a Yu-Gi-Oh story and it just has a relative (My original character) of an Austin Powers character. So plz don't report me cause I didn't do anything wrong >.

!IMPORTANT!

Malik: Miss Hawaii

Ryou: Miss North Carolina

Yugi: Miss Alabama

Max: Miss Florida

Angel: Miss Georgia

_**Chapter Three: Undercover Names**_

"And Miss Hawaii, this is your room." the hostess said. "Your roommates are Dallas Horsen, that's Miss Texas and Miss North Carolina- I don't know her first name yet, and Miss Alabama- I don't know her first name either. And that door over there leads to another set of rooms where Maximia Rider-she's Miss Florida and Angel Ethonia-she's Miss Georgia, are staying with Mary Bethon-Miss Maine, and Mira Mcmatson, Miss California."

"Um yeah, thanks." Malik said, taking advantage of his voice imitation talents and trying his best to sound like a girl. It sounded pretty natural actually. "I'll see you later."

&!&-Meanwhile-&!&

"Hello?" Max asked, picking up her cell phone.

"Max, it's Cheif."

"Oh, yes, sir?"

Mary gave Max a weird look before averting her gaze back to her nail polish.

"Max, I need you to relay this message to Yugi, Malik, and Ryou, I forgot to tell them before they left. Malik's name is to be Ashleigh Remescal, Ryou is Rene Esqualair, and Yugi is to go by Yolana Mouri."

"Aye, aye, Captain. Got it."

"Oh, and tell them I said have fun in the swimsuit competiton." Chief said, hanging up.

Max rolled her eyes and walked into the room next door. "Yo Hawaii, Alabama, North Carolina, listen up!"

Malik went on reading In Touch magazine as Ryou ran a brush through his hair and Yugi looked at The Young And The Restless on the TV. "Oh my god! Victor soooo just just told her off!" he said.

(A/N: If you're normal this is where you do a biiiig anime sweatdrop followed by an anime fall)

"Uh, guys?" Max asked. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Being women." Malik retorted, flipping the page.

Max laughed. "Well, my female friends, your names are Malik- Ashleigh Remescal, Ryou- Rene Esqualair, and Yugi- Yolana Mouri."

"Yep."

"Uh huh."

"Oh my God! Is that Cindy!"

"Um, guys, try not to let him get too into that." Max said (Big anime sweatdrop)

"Alright, we won't."

Max shrugged and walked back into her room.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ In A Secret Lair Room $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

"Hmmm. Everything is going according to plan. Mwohahahahahaha!"

"Um, Uncle Bad?"

"Yes, my dear nephew Scott?"

"Dad's calling you."

"Oh, thank you Scott."

"Yeah, whatever."

Dr. Bad turned on the screen next to his chair. "Hello, my brother Dr. Evil?"

"Hello, my twin Dr. Bad."

"How are you?"

"Great actually. Minime is having fun. How is Scott?"

"He's good. I must say, It's quite a shock that you made it to 2005 from the sixties."

"Yes, it is. I have crucial information to tell you. But..."

"But what, Dr. Evil?"

"But you have to wait until this authoress writes chapter four to see it Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!"

A/N: Mwahahahahahahahahahaha! Yes you have to wait to see what happens! Ha! I hope you liked it. I know, kinda short but it'll get longer next chapter, I hope...Yea Review plz and me and Dr. Evil will be sooooo happy!


	4. Information

_**Mr. Miss America Beauty Pagent**_

A/N: Ok. Thank you all for the review! You guys rock! Thank you soooooo much! And I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh or Rachel Proctor and my bad- I didn't say I didn't own Austin Powers in the last chapter! I don't! I wish I did that would be awesome. Anyways...

I beleive we left off with Dr. Evil telling Dr. Bad about some critical information...Ok you get to know what it is now! So ya better be happy!

_**Chapter Four: Information**_

_**&&&**_

"So, what's the information, Dr. Evil?"

"You have spies in your pagent. I don't know exactly who they are but they're there. And if I were you I'd keepan eye out for anything...unusual."

"Thank you, Dr. Evil, I will."

"You're welcome. I hope you get your revenge on this pagent."

"Yes, they WILL regeret not letting me be Mr. Miss America when I tried! I wanted the flowers and the tiara! Waaaaa!"

"There there, I'm sure you'd look lovely, my brother." (#Dr. Bad does Anime sweatdrop)

"Yes, yes. Thank you."

"You're welcome again." And the screen goes blank.

&&&&&&&&&&&&& With The Spies &&&&&&&&&&&&&

"Malik- I mean Ashleigh, what are you doing for the talent competition?" Max asked.

"Me? I'm uh...uh...oh shit...I'm uh...going to use my voice imitation talents and sing." Malik muttered.

Max looked up and then burst out laughting, falling out of her chair and onto Ryou's feet. "I guess voice imitating _does _come in handy!"

Malik glared at her and went back to reading his issue of In Touch. (A/N: Freaky, I know.)

"Ryou what are you doing?" Angel asked. "And Yugi?"

"I'm um...going to...be juggling flaming hackey sacks." Ryou said.

Yugi thought for a moment. "I'm going to throw abunch of fruit trough a bunch of little flaming hoops and try to get them into the tub of water on the other side."

"What are _you two_ going to do?" Malik asked.

"Well," Max said. "I'm going to play something I wrote on the violin and Angel is..."

"I'm going too play the piano." Angel smiled.

At The Competition

"And I now present to you Angel Ethonia, Ms. Georgia, playing Green Sleeves on the piano."

Yeah yeah, those of you who don't know who the hell or what the hell Green Sleeves is, sorry I can't help ya.

Angel stood up, bowed, and walked off stage.

"And Maxilia Rider Ms. Florida, playing a peice she calls 'Silent Nights' on the violin."

Max walked onto the stage and played the song she wrote and yeah, finished, bowed to the audience and walked off stage.

"Now this lovely lady Rene Esqualair, Ms. North Carolina, is going to be juggling flaming hackey sacks."

Ryou, blushing wildly, walked onto the stage and did hisact. Bowed and walked back behind the curtain again.

"And Now, Ms. Yolana Mouri, Ms. Alabama is going to throw these apples through these flaming hoops and try to land them in that tub of water over there."

Yugi threw the apples and got all but one of them in the tub of water and that one burst into flames and exploded for some reason. He took a bow and walked off stage too.

"And the last performance of the day, Ashleigh Remescal, Ms. Hawaii, singing Me and Emily by Rachel Proctor."

Malik walked onto the stage, and the music started to play. He coughed and his voice changed sounds to sound almost identical to Rachel Proctor (A/N: Just be glad I don't have him singing Kelly Clarkson!)

_Floor board is filled with baby toys _

_and empty coke bottles and coffee cups_

_Driven through the rain with no radio _

_trying not to wake her up_

_Cell phone says low battery_

_God what if I break down?_

_I'm just lokking for an exit with a lot of lights_

_A safe little interstate town_

_Just a cheap hotel with a single bed and Cable TV _

_Is good enough for me and Emily_

_Someday when she's old enough _

_she's gonna start asking questions about him_

_Some kid at school brings his dad for show and tell _

_And he get's her little mind to wonderin'_

_Where's my daddy, do i have one_

_Does he not love me like you do_

_Or maybe I'll find someone to love the both of us _

_And I'll tell her when she's old enough to know the truthWill it break her heart, Will she understand_

_That I had to leave_

_That's what was best for me and Emily_

Ok we really don't need to hear the rest of the song. But Malik finished singing and bowed to a loudly applauding audience and walked back behind stage.

&#&#&#&#&#&#&#&#&#&#&#&#&#&#&#&#&#&#&#&#&#&#&#&#&#&#&#&#&#&#&#&#&#&#&#&#&#&#

A/N: Okay that's the end of this chapter. Review plz and if you have any ideas or anything else that pops into your head. I might have to postpone this story from major writers block. And tell me if you want any pairings.


End file.
